I cried for you today.

I think its finally hit me.

A strong rush of pain,

Slapped me in the face.

 

I thought about you a lot but today, a week before your youngest grandchild turns 1; It took a toll. As I sat in my living room watching him tool around, the tears came rushing. An experience filled with such joy yet as hard as it is, you will not be there to see his transition. Deep pain resides within, this is hard. My dearest father I miss you so and It breaks me that your no longer here. there is so much I want you to know. there is so much I’d like you to see but today, as your grandsons birthday emerges  I think about your absence obsessively.

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