I stumbled upon this blog tonight. It gave me a lot to ponder. You see, this blogger expressed something so utterly nerve wracking for her to speak that I give her a lot of credit for being brave enough to post
Hearing the hurt in her post, I decided as I always do to speak my words of me.
This situation is not easy. At the time, you were young and as you said naive. That’s ok because you learned a valuable lesson that you now carry with you. I have trouble myself accepting the idea of doing that, but when one is faced with this hard pressed decision to make at the very core, it’s a decision that you live with for the rest of your life. In any choice you would have made, it would have been something to live with for the rest of your life. Whether you stayed with dad and struggled through a transition of a new child, or stayed with dad long enough to realize having a baby was too hard and split, to giving it up and wondering about that to. Whatever scenario may have happened. It is what it is. You are a brave soul. At the time you did what you thought best. No one can judge you for that. If anyone feels as though they should, then maybe they should also help you pay your bills.
Making this choice is not like choosing what your going to eat for breakfast, and I admire that your advocating for the fathers in these situations because when your lost, and in that moment you need someone in the same situation to help you make those choices. It’s a serious one.
I will say:
Don’t beat yourself up. Keep your head up. It may be hard and I’m sure it replays in your head a lot. I’m certain you ponder how you can even make it up to him, but at the same time your torturing yourself. That’s not healthy either. I’m sure you wonder what he or she may look like all the time.
You were still in the first year of grief. You’d lost your dad. They say your not suppose to make life changing decisions until a year after someone close to you has passed. Your mind isn’t in its clearest. Give yourself a break. Dad passed, mom drinking, boyfriend in jail. Three extremely strenuous situations to go through. I’d say you are a courageous soul for doing what you did. Take comfort in knowing your father got to hold your baby, and take care of him or her for you while up in heaven. Enjoying that grand baby. They say things happen for a reason. For you, your father just got to meet your precious one sooner then you will. I hope this helps. Thanks for posting such a real post. This is not an easy subject for people to speak about, and you handled it well.