What if I….

What if I told you, Crystal’s tale are moments in time I share with my first born. Yes… We have our problems just like any other parent child relationship. I focus my parenting on a different kind of way? When it comes to the big things in life… I do… That. There will always be those moments. I reach in those ways because one day… As I do now. My daughter may look back and remember small moments in time. Shadows she will never forget. Sprouts she’ll carry to her grave. Not without spreading the seeds of course. 

Ok, ok, ok back to the point. Real life moments masked by a story? Hey that’s creative right? Our moments blow me away. I’m shocked that despite some bickering moments, and consequences for bad behavior, no matter how much her paternal side poisons that well, she and I … We are like an un-breakable mold. I can look at my daughter with one facial expression, communicate through unspoken word. She inquires a lot. 😍(this means she’s learning.) but we have a unique relationship. We started out just she and I. For three years, she only knew me. Then we met Jay. Things changed. Soon after, as yesterday’s post described… The dark tunnel ascended. Starting with that car accident my daughter and I experienced together. Way to go drunk driver, my back is destroyed because of your ignorance that day. Khronic back pain on the daily, often hinders me physically. But you know me… “Back pain? Oh that pain I’m used to.. F@$& it! Who’s down for a hike?” Mhm. This little girl has watched me struggle, cry, laugh, live and be, succeed my last years of college, after mom died. Make it on the deans list despite moms death. I couldn’t think about anything else but finishing, so I could take a break and… Grieve. She saw this. She has single handedly watched her mother handle her darkest moments. She looks at me with a proud.. I want to be like you someday look in her beautiful eyes. Every time I want to give it all up… I remember how my sweat pea, and golden boy look at me like their super hero.  Until those ending days, that is what I’ll always be. So despite any bickering. She and I love each other. 

Next week she will be traveling out of state for the first time in her life… without me. She can’t even stay one over night at her grandparents house without being traumatized. (Peeing in her bed is not a normal thing.) And now she is gone for a week. These people don’t seem to understand kids need their source of comfort on these types of things. They are going to take her in a plane she’s never done, and … Honestly this part makes me laugh…just a bit.  That girl can freak out… Hardcore. 😏 only I can dial that down a notch. Can’t wait to hear about it (not)  I’m nervous. I’m going to miss her, and  they are taking an experience away from she and I. Eh… (That’s always their goal) 

“Sometimes you gotta lose a battle to win the war” #stuffraresays

 Right?  In the end, she will remember who was really there for her in her times of need. And that… To me, is the biggest weight of the entire scenario. 
Sometimes doing the right thng isn’t the easiest, but when I ponder it… I look back and remember my inquiring moments with dad. “Just do the right thing Mel.”

Would you you still read them? … Would they become more interesting? Would you tune out? 

Happy inspirational Tuesday. Hoping this gives all you single mothers out there some empowerment and reassurance.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s Chrystal’s tale.


Comments (Name, Website and Email are optional) but heyyyy at least let me know who I'm interacting with

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s