While out and about today for lunch, I came across a very thoughtful fortune cookie with a powerful statement. Don’t you think?
My step daughter is quite the stubborn one. She was kicked out of her moms house three years ago, and ever since has pretty much spent the last three years spiraling out of depression. Her fatal flaw has and always will be, her dire need to be perfect. If she can’t do it right the first time, or be perfect without having to redo, or accept her faults she will upon every first failure, GIVE UP!!
- Beautiful artist: If her lines aren’t straight she will draw, erase, redraw, erase, redraw, erase, redraw, erase, crumple it up, give up.
- She watches me write a lot. Potential writer: She will write three words, erase, re write three words, erase, re write a paragraph , scratch it out, crumple, give up.
- Amazing dancer: Since I’ve known her, that girl can dance. The minute the other girls on the dance team became threatened by her, they began to bully her. SHE QUIT!!
OK so you get my point.
I use her as an example because the scenario is quite fitting. In life, we all have dreams. It is our life goal to achieve these don’t you think? YES!!!
Failures are a typical part of that process. They occur as a means to shape our final product. Just last week, while editing some video footage to our Bajeebus YouTube channel, I clicked save when done, but it didn’t work. I unplugged the cam without truly saving it, and lost hours of work…Just like that. OK… Today, a week later I might add. I went back at it. I’ll admit even I get thrown back with a setback, but only for the mere purpose of… that term.
“Stop, revamp, rethink, and redo”
So I did. Failures are not meant to be final, nor an obstacle. In reality, a failure is the best thing that can happen to any of us out there in this world. While we are learning from our experiences, we are also growing from them. With every failure comes wisdom from the last. Every future attempt will be “You knowing better.” Sorry about the late inspirational Tuesday bit.
I have been so busy enjoying our first week off with the kiddos, that I completely let time fly. Have I ever told you how hard the struggle is to be in a blended family? It’s not the easiest feat. When a child lives in the home with only one parent, they tend to split themselves. Each of our first born’s are with another partner. My step-daughter, had a active dad from day one, while my daughter had to wait nine years later. Until he decided he wanted his girlfriend to marry him. News flash!!! A woman won’t marry a man who can’t be there for his kid. YEAH! you do the math.
EITHER way…. there is confliction being created in their lives right now. It serves as a slow demise. Lying becomes a norm. Because their other sides get mad at them anytime they speak of us. Rather then speak of us, they have learned to lie about their lives. 😦 meh! I HATE this! This is a struggle we deal with on the daily. My step-daughter thinks if she tells us her visit with her mom was HORRIBLE, that we will be happy, so she then concocts this terrible experience. 😦 It hurts us.
Have I ever mentioned soda is an out of sight, out of mind thing in our home? Yeah we don’t drink that stuff. Ice tea yea, now that goes by the gallon on the daily. Who can’t enjoy a fresh glass of Ice tea? because of this, my girl will pull the puppy dog eyes on her gramps and voila! dude buys her all the junk food she want’s. Why? because it goes against me. SMH! (Fool)
This last week, we took our youngins’ to see angry birds. unfortunately baby blue was fussy, and Jay missed the first half of the movie while I missed the second half. It SUCKED! But my daughter went with her gramps. She asked to spend more time with him afterwards. I told her to have him feed her, and it would be OK. As we had dinner afterwards, then came home we wondered happily where she ate. We even placed bets on where we thought they’d go. When she came home, I asked with the biggest smile on my face,”Where did you guys eat?” THERE IT WAS! that dang lie!
“Oh we drove to his house and had chicken noodle soup.”
“Your gramps lives 3o minutes away, your telling me that you drove to his house, ate soup drove back within 45 minutes!”
“Oh OK no we ate at Hunans.” (Her favorite Chinese restaurant.)
Things like that don’t happen in non-blended families. My message from this rant is…
Mothers: Remember, that there are others out there who understand your struggle. With a seven member family, two step children, and three full blood kiddos, It can be pretty overwhelming sometimes. With the step children, issues are always much harder to deal with, they take longer to resolve if ever, and the level of respect isn’t there which is necessary for learning to happen. Often, I want to find myself a corner to hide in. Probably with a big bucket of pop corn and an entire gallon of tea.
I can see it now (Place thought bubble here)
“MOM!… hey mom… Wheres mom? has anyone seen mom?
There she is in the linen closet where you can’t see her snickering 😀
But I don’t “I do what I gotta do and hope for the best 🙂 Have an amazing Wednesday everyone.