The moment he laid his hands on me in harm was the moment there was no longer heart. Hence, the lack of heartbreak. Had he stayed sober, that magic would have stayed alive. The relapse broke down the entire dynasty.
Throughout my journey, I’ve grown fond of the shadow work I’ve put into MY Self. No one is more critical of me than I am of my OWN SELF. that is why…. I live and learn. I grow. Endure and persevere.
The phone rang close to 7am on Sunday morning. I answered groggily and received the bubbly voice of Chellie, “Hello dearie!” Oh Chellie I don’t care what time of day you call, your voice sends pure love and light into me like that first sip of coffee on a Monday morning.
I sat up and began my trip to the kitchen to start my pot. Chellie began speaking on her current life experiences and what she is trying to do in order to create resilience in her personal life, in order to move forward in a productive way.
I smiled and responded, “You know Chellie, I have so much faith in you, I can tell you with confidence that your gonna be alright. After a breath of clarity, Chellie made her sigh noise and asked, “I don’t know Mandy…I’d love to know your secret.” I laughed and asked, “what secret?”
“I recognize you, your light, how you move and what you are”
“Mandy, I’ve known you for a long time, I remember when you first took me under your wing while I was still a little biddy. You raised me up into my own Queendom. 🙀 my mouth dropped and silence hit the air. The sound of brewing coffee echoed through the house. “Aww Chellie..” Mandy, I’ve watched you do your shadow work and it never seizes to amaze me how well you piece yourself back together every time life throws something fierce at you. You are proof that there is hope…
You’d think I’d be used to it by now. Nope! Just when I think you’ve topped the cake, you always end up adding another layer of flavor in there.”
After our phone call ended, I stared at the phone and slowly drifted into my contemplative state of mind, letting her statement sink in.
“I’d spent so much time allowing Chad to make me question my OWN integrity, I’d almost forgotten who I was, what I’ve accomplished and what it took to get where I am today. To be… who I am today. HOW… I grew into the woman that I am today.
While, my journey shaped me. Chads journey, broke him. For, that is the basic difference and foundation between having or NOT having emotional intelligence.
Your inconsistencies prevent her from being able to fully love you the way she wants to. Read that again
What you resist, persists. – C. G. Jung
To spiritually bypass is to use spirituality to avoid, suppress, or escape from uncomfortable issues in life.
A prime example of this could be; self-sabotaging behaviors, mental or emotional health issues, self medicating, or any other problems life presents.
Pretending to be all great and powerfully spiritual after attempting to murder someone as a means to avoid facing your darkness within.