“No one can be you better than you can be yourself. No matter how hard they imitate you. They aren’t you.”
Relationships, Conflict and resolutions
“Conflict is a natural part of relationships and just because we argue and don’t always agree, doesn’t mean that a relationship can’t work or a friendship cant work. It means that we have to do a better job at being open and receptive to listening to the other person. Creating a space where we’re not always being emotionally reactive and judgemental but instead try to perceive and empathize with that other person. It doesn’t mean that we give up our position it just means that we try and seek that understanding and balance. Sometimes we need to have disagreements so we can clear the air, allowing things to come to the surface so we’re not just carrying around resentment, anger and challenging feelings. Leaving room for greater understanding.”
I touched a bit on Instant Gratification yesterday. Too often, unwise, unhealed and un-evolved indivuduals lack one primal cue. Understanding that chemistry and connection is only half the battle but maintaining that chemistry and connection is where all the real magic happens. It is the ongoing task ALL relations require. Its getting to know someone, understanding that we all have quirks, loving someone for who they are and NOT who we want to control them into being, selflessness, compassion, patience, working through disagreements and hiccups.
Mature adults grow out of the teenager phase of relationships. We’ve all been there. That first disagreement and outburst that leads to a harsh breakup because what we thought was supposed to be so easily perfect… wasn’t. Often burning bridges without truly realizing the detriment of that irrationality.
As adults, we recognize that the teenage relationship isn’t an evolved mindset. It’s a fools errand. Adult relationships involve the understaning that a relationship takes more gusto than that of the initial chemical connection.
The adult relationship can withstand the woes and mishaps of disagreements, obstacles, hiccups, conflict and discord in their journey. (Something Chad never wanted to take part in. Rather string people along.)
“The truth is: every relationship is going to experience conflict. That is unavoidable. Its how we react to and handle the conflict that matters.
HOW we move forward from, take account, own up to our part in the conflict … Is what defines us. If one is inclined to burn the whole house down because one small thing sets them off… then its safe to say, that person may need to seek therapy before they seek out a relationship.”
“I remember the first day I met her. MY soul sister. Cute, bubbly, spunky, poppy filled soul. Our encounter was your classic Girl Meets World vibe. While, our soul Sisterhood sparked the moment we laid eyes on each other, that didn’t mean we were destined to love each other wholly simply by being present in each others lives. Our friendship took years to develop. Hence we put in the work. And oh boy! We have had ourselves some conflict. Through the resolution of each one, we grew more in love with each other. Friends not lovers guys come on”
“It is through conflict that we learn how to love each other better. Therefore, conflict is not an excuse or opportunity to hurt, physically attack or punish someone.”-rarenwise
“It is also not our place as humans to determine whether or not someone requires “forceful”humbling. That is no ones place but god himself to determine. When we wrongfully take those decisions into our own hands we forsake ourselves. Having to bear a cross we WILL face at the hands of god.”
One cannot be emotionally open to listen, provide comfort, support and encouragement while they are busy flirting with other woman/men behind your back all day while you work. Yet, ready to pounce at you in anger, with insults and spitefulness the moment you walk through that door.
“If he had only realized how many compliments I’d recieved about my feet, he would have probably picked a different insult that day in a cold hearted attempt to break me down. Only, he chose something I wasn’t insecure about. Hence, my first revelation that he never took the time to truly get to know or understand me.”
One cannot expect to live off chemistry and connection alone.
I know I’ve mentioned this in past years and for those of you who have been on this ride with me since day one, you already know…
Relationships should always be seen as a full time job. Whether it involves coworkers, bosses, teams, friends, family, lovers, etc. They take work. Work you really gotta be willing to put in. Because partnerships are NOT meant to be selfish, onesided nor a game. Either we take them seriously or we self sabotoge our own selves.
“When we don’t love our partner properly, its not them we are hurting. It is OUR SELF.” -rarenwiseTweet
That inflicted hurt, pain, abuse, cheating…. That is the unhealed actions of the person inflciting them. Not the person on the recieving end of it. Meaning, that the one who doesn’t tend to their relationships properly will end up repeating patterns. Those who are on the receiving end of that mistreatment are typically the ones who move on and find their happy endings. Why? Because we learn from it. We grow from it… It levels US up. While, the person who inflicted that pain spirals. Constantly hunting, searching, even begging the universe to gravitate that perfect lover to them. To give them that break they’ve been searching for all their lives. Only, they don’t recieve it…
“The universe says, “Ive handed you the greatest of gems and you took them for granted. You missed the point of their presence in your life and you destroyed the very essence of your wish by not recognizing them. For that, your need shall be dismissed. Ask again when you understand how you’ve wronged.”
“God helps those who help themselves.”
When we sit around and wait for hand outs, expect others to be easy conquests, easy to maintain, take no work and carry a severe need to control everything in our day to day, relationships and life; we are doing ourselves the greatest diservice we can ever do. Neglecting the fact that relations are meant to ebb and flow, not crumble and blow.
On the sidelines:
Chad: Rather than work on his OWN SELF he’s too focused on trying to convince me that I’m the narcissist., manipulator, toxicity the reason he relapsed. This, that, here, there, bridge, shoes, forests, Meeeps, bleeps, acronyms and ….. incoherent. Convoluted messages.
“Apparently I sprinkled some psychopath fairy dust on him. How dare I MAKE him ASSAULT ME. 🙄🤞”
Man! With that many accounts trolling around…one has to ask. Got anything better to do with your life… or… at least your day?
Nope! Instead …..
He Skirts around copying me, imitating my personality to impress his new sources and copying my art to create his “art.”
Well… he be tryn’
Remember: no one can be US better than us. As long as we’re copy catting others we aren’t being our true authentic selves. AND NO!
Any man who physically assaults a woman AND has a history of physically abusing woman who is ALSO a second generation abuser… mind you.
These types DON’T have a right to post about National Non Violence Day.
That’s the pot calling the kettle black
Oh right! Did I fail to mention he’s lurking in the shadows of our beloved bloggerverse. Pretending to be a spiritual blogger. 😂🤣
I know my worth. He apparently doesn’t know his. Maybe one day he will sit with his shit… rework, rewire and resolve his own head and demons that control him. Right now, he hasn’t taken any moments to reflect. He’s too busy medicating, acting a fool, pretending he’s happy, and hoping to convince me how much better off he is and how I’m “missing out”.
Knowing your worth means you won’t fall for the manipulation. I may have fell for it as he hid his ulterior motives behind a video screen. That’s easy.
It’s when your In Person and those sensed vibes and energy start portruding. You SEE their actions Playing out. Even catching them red handed when their demons stir. Why? Cause in person, you can’t hide who you are like you can on video chat 😉👌